One Is The Magic Number

I went through a devastating relationship culmination at the end of 2009 that resulted in my heart shattering into a million pieces. I knew it was time for a change. I desperately wanted to be one of those women who had an easy time in love. I wanted to be romanced, go on dates , and experience an easy and fulfilling time in my romantic situations. I had had enough of the same type of scenarios and patterns repeating themselves in my dating life, so I removed all of the men in my dating history from the equation and changed myself. Ultimately acknowledging the one constant factor in all of the situation is myself and taking heed of where I could stand to rearrange my thoughts, beliefs, patterns and self worth and esteem was a wothwhile endeavor that ultimately changed everything. I took all of the focus off the men and focused on myself and the results were magnificent and happened almost overnight. One of my fellow Aquarius mermaids has been dating a guy from high school since 2008, and one of the things I admire and love most about her is her independence from her relationship. She travels with friends, goes out to eat, and has hobbies and pasttimes that fill up her calendar. Shes completely removed from making anything in her life revolve around her significant other, and I believe all women can stand to take a page out of her book. Shes not a " my man, my man, man" woman, and I often forget shes in a long term committed relationship until she says something about it. Within my healing journey I learned about the power to transform my romantic relationships by simply getting a life that didnt revolve around the male gaze at all. A woman who has an easy time with men are women who are naturally centered around themselves. Making sure her life is as rich, fun, rewarding, and romantic without a man inevitably attracts men who want to be apart of it. It can be counterintuitive to  behave this way as women when we are interested in someone because as women are instinct is to be maternal, nurturing, and present for the needs of others. Yet Ive seen and experienced the difference it can make to romantic relationships when the woman is putting the needs of a man first before her own needs. And so I finally learned the secret to having amazing romantic relationships is to live as fully, passionately, and wholeheartedly regardless of how a man is behaving towards you. I changed myself and my focus to include all of the things I wanted that added up to me being more present and the men in my life and theyre treatment of me changed as well.  It can be confusing to know how to behave in relationships when men are behaving in a fickle, disinterested, and inconsistent manner. However what you do during these critical moments can make or break the relationship. Put the focus on yourself with the knowledge that until you have a ring on your finger and even after, your life and living it to the fullest is the most important thing to you. Putting a man first and making his feelings, thoughts, and actions more important than the quality of your experience with him and how he adds to your life is a detrimental mistake. Ive seen people go through tumultuous relationship obstacles that could be avoided if they simply decided to love and pour into themselves and their life more. Create an exciting life for yourself! Have fun, travel, get drinkes with your friends, develop a list of hobbies. Take the men out of the equation and focus on what more you can do for you to make yourself happy, and watch how you begin to attract men who want to make you happier. It all comes back to you. One is the magic number!!!