A Candle for Compassion

 " Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."

When I was younger, I won the " Compassion" award at my dance school, and I recently found my trophy. I've been on a spiritual and healing journey that has included honoring my inner child. Being in my thirties, I feel closer to that compassionate little girl than ever. However, there was once upon a time where I could be a pretty cold-hearted bitch. I would write people off and cut them off for the slightest offense if I felt someone responded to me in a less than warmhearted manner. My thirties have taught me to take myself out of the equation, look at a person's life through their perspective, and consider the many trials and tribulations that person may be dealing with that have nothing to do with me. This shift in my manner of being took place at the end of 2018. To make a long story short, a popular DJ in the Atlanta Art community had an overdose and a few days later her friend committed suicide. I had a professional relationship with the girl who committed suicide because we performed together back in 2010 and 2011 for one of Atlanta's most popular indie artists. I often wondered if she liked me and if I actually liked her as there was something very heavy and awkward about her energy sometimes. However, something told me to continue to be cordial and warm towards her. I didn't run into her very often but when I did it was always a heartwarming experience for me as although I wondered if she really did fancy me, I found her to be intriguing and interesting, mysterious and fun. A very glamorous individual. When she committed suicide, it put so many things in perspective for me. Her heavy energy was suicidal ideation, and I thought she held some type of resentment towards me.  This really drove home the meaning of " If you don't know them personally, then don't take it personal." You think people have a problem with you when the truth may very well be that if you're not in their face you probably don't even exist to them because they're consumed with some deep inner issue that is beyond you and them. I also feel like you shouldn't take things personal even if you do know them personally. This is easier said than done because while ignoring the mean-spirited actions of strangers can be easy, dealing with shady behavior from our loved ones tends to be a bigger challenge. When I first started my therapy journey, I was explaining to my therapist something someone in my family was doing that was causing me great grief. She responded to me " and its important you know that that has nothing to do with you." Whenever I find my energy being impacted by the actions of someone negatively, I release their energy, get back into my own, and hear my therapist repeating that to me over and over. Compassion is a tricky emotion because you have to choose it. You have to make the choice to choose grace instead of telling people to go fuck themselves. The young lady who committed suicide also taught me to never regret the love I give away even if it isn't being returned from the source, I'm giving it to. People are dealing with unimaginable personal, ancestral, and spiritual trauma. You never know how you may have made someone's day with a small kindness. People die. Disease, illness, and injury come by surprise. Love is the greatest frequency in the world, and the closest thing we have to magic. Choose kindness. Choose love. Choose compassion.