So Beautiful ❤️

 I encourage all women to have a healthy sense of esteem, worth, self awareness,and confidence on this website, however there was once upon a time in my life where I could have stood to take my own advice. Middle school was a really rough time for me when it came to my self confidence and having a healthy self image. The girls I went to middle school with had bodies like full blown grown women with children. They were thick with burgeoning breasts, hips, thighs, and behinds. I was short and skinny with braces, a flat chest, big head,  and a body that had not had its date with destiny yet when it came to puberty. I was extremely self conscious about my looks and didn't recognize the beauty in myself. My self esteem was so low that one day in class one of my classmates said I looked like Barbie, and I started crying. What girl doesn't want to look like Barbie?!  My friend and my teacher quietly pulled me aside and explained what an awesome compliment my classmate was attempting to give me. I was in such a fragile state emotionally when it came to the way I looked, that when he called me Barbie I thought he was subliminally calling me skinny. I can only look back upon this memory in retrospect and laugh at myself for how pathetic I was. I wanted to be popular and be the girl all the guys wanted when I was in middle School. Instead I was really quiet, introverted, artistic, and somewhat awkward in my bearing socially.  Then one day everything changed. I was in the eighth grade, and just decided that I didn't want to be the girl that didn't love herself anymore. I had developed wisdom. The world is not a nice place, especially to little black girls that don't love themselves. I knew that there were very few good people in the world and that you can't wait around for people to tell you that you are beautiful, special, and worthy. You have to know these things for yourself especially as an adolescent black girl. We don't live in a world where African American women are the blueprint for beauty. We don't live in a world that affirms adolescent black girls when it comes to the way they look. We don't live in a world where Black girls and women have the luxury of leading their lives with insecurities. We are not protected in that way. My eighth grade year in middle school I was in the musical theatre program, and was somewhat known as popular in our middle school community. I was enjoying the way people were responding to finding out about my artistic passions, and I just had an overall change in my well being and demeanor. And the more I started to see the young lady in the mirror as beautiful, interesting, talented, gorgeous and intelligent, the warmer the response from my peers became. The summer before I went to high school I gained about 15 to 20 pounds, my braces were removed, my skin was glowing because I drank so much water I almost turned into river, and my hair was in micro braids. I started my freshman year at North Atlanta School of the Performing Arts in the summer of 2004, and I quickly became a hot commodity at school. I went from feeling practically invisible in middle school to being the best thing smoking at North Atlanta. My senior year at North Atlanta High School,I was nominated for Most Attractive. I lost the nomination by seven votes. The young lady who won over me won the election by the skin of her teeth. Being nominated for Most Attractive is one of my most cherished high school memories because I remember who I used to be before I received all of that attention. The little girl who cried at being compared to Barbie , and had crippling low self esteem, self worth and image, almost won an award for being the most beautiful girl in her class. It's such an empowering story. The change couldn't have taken place without me being honest with myself. You have to love yourself and be your own best friend. People won't think you're dope and rare if you don't think of yourself as being that way first. Our experiences with the world around us are a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves and the energy were expending to others. I love this song by Music Soulchild because he says " Girl, don't you know you're so beautiful. I want to give all my love to you girl. Not just tonight, but the rest of my life." The song is intended to woo a romantic interest, but it can also be the way a woman can feel about herself. Know that you're beautiful and give love to yourself as much as possible everyday. Then watch how the world and the people around you respond to the new conversation you're having with yourself. We are Queens. We are Goddesses. We are the eighth wonders of the world. We are beautiful. 🩷🌸🩷🌸